So, I failed, but...

I realized that I cannot do a post a day with my infant.  As soon as I finish my coffee and Bible study, he is ready to do another activity, and if I don't get a post written in the morning then all is lost.  Carson's top teeth are still coming in and he got his 6 month shots on Tuesday, so it has been a little fussy around here. (Hopefully, I'll get his 6 month post up before he turns 7month!)  Today is March 1st, and it is GORGEOUS!  There is supposed to be a high of 75 degrees with a light breeze.  Ahhh...  I'm sitting here with the windows open with the breeze and the sun pouring through.  This is quite the contrast to yesterday's thunderstorms.  It feels like Spring is finally here! Well, hopefully here to stay.  Spring is like my "New Year."  I never make New Year's resolutions because it just feels like nothing really changes from December 31st to January 1st.  No, I don't want to vow to exercise more when I still have my sweaters to hide the holiday gluttony, or do I want to challenge myself in a new way because I still have the Winter blues.  Spring brings new life.  I can see it and I can feel it!  The blooms of the trees and flowers.  The birds I heard two days ago outside my window.  It's the season of Lent, of sacrifice and discipline...and then Easter! Glorious Easter, when we celebrate Jesus defeating death and reconciling us to our God!  How changed my life would be if I lived every day as an Easter celebration!  My challenge for myself for tomorrow and the next day is to live as a redeemed woman- even if there are thunderstorms (literally or figuratively) I can rejoice:) 

Worth the wait

As I was driving around town waiting for Carson, the teething baby, to fall asleep, I thought about one of the worst times I just had to wait.  I think most mothers can agree that the four weeks in between your OB appointments in your first few months of pregnancy is rough.  I lived for those appointments, just to hear the heartbeat and know that my baby was doing okay.  During those few months, you cannot feel your baby move, so you are just praying like crazy for that little one.  I remember being so restless and anxious in between appointments.  I also remember time and time again, God was telling me just to be still and trust in Him.  

I feel like that is what Sarah and Abraham experienced while they were waiting for God to fulfill His promise to them.  God told Abraham that he would make him the father of a nation, but Abraham didn't even have any children.  After so many years of not producing children, let alone sons, Sarah had to be devastated- without hope.  Then after God told Abraham that he would have descendants  as numerous as the stars, did Sarah dare get her hopes up that she might have a child?  She decided to help God along, and in her impatience she gave her servant to Abraham to sleep with so they would have an heir.  If she had only waited.  Waiting is so hard sometimes.  I believe that in the waiting God has some of the greatest things to teach us about Himself.  I had to learn that no matter what was happening with Carson, God told me to be still and know that He is God.  Sarah needed to trust that too, even though her age (90!) and barrenness her whole life left her hopeless. Even though sometimes the wait seems unbearable, I thank the Lord for times of waiting.  During those times, I feel so close to our Creator.

Morning Coffee- I See You!

"So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him." Romans 12:1


In thinking of this scripture, I want to write at least one reflection each morning of Lent.  As a SAHM, I have struggled at times to find value in what I do, so I believe that the Lord will use this time to show me more of himself and how he is working.  As I was reading in Genesis yesterday for my Beth Moore bible study on the Patriarchs, I came across Hagar.  Hagar was Sarah's servant.  Sarah gave Abraham, her husband, Hagar to sleep with to bear a son.  After Hagar became pregnant, Sarah treated her pretty badly.  In Genesis 16, Sarah and Abraham kept referring to Hagar as "the servant."  They didn't even use her real name.  When Hagar ran away, God met her beside a stream in the desert (Really?  Who else can put a stream in the desert but God?).  When God talks to Hagar, he calls her by her name.  After that encounter, Hagar calls God, "El-roi," the God who sees me.


I think we all need that reminder.  I was lying Carson down for a nap that he didn't want to take.  He pushed himself up taking a second break from wailing to look to see if I was there.  He was like, "Look, Mom, don't you see I'm upset here?!"  That's what God showing up in the middle of the desert was to Hagar.  God saw her distress.  God doesn't just sit back and watch us on our own reality TV show.  He SEES us.  He already knew why Hagar was upset and running away.  It is so comforting to know that when I am home, by myself, with a screaming baby and I am so sleep deprived because his teeth are taking forever to come in and I have no hint of rest in the near future- God sees.  Also, even in the great moments He is there.  Carson was rolling around on the floor, and everytime he ended up in a different place, he would look up and I would say, "I see you!"  It wasn't enough that I was in the same room, he wanted to know I knew exactly where he was.

Do you have times like this where you feel like no one understands?

Renewed Hope

Ever since I left InterVarsity staff, I have been feeling a little hopeless.  I could see the Lord's purpose in my life when I was ministering to students, but during this last year of teaching in the east end Newport News I have felt a little lost.  We started attending a church plant in the east end whose prime ministry is to a pretty rough neighborhood.  After a year and a half of mentoring at the Boys and Girls Club, teaching Head Start in the neighborhood, and ministering through our church, one of our friends accepted Christ!  There are so many great things the Lord is doing in our fellowship, but this event struck something deeper in my heart.  I was overjoyed to see this young woman place her trust in Jesus!  Our friendship has been growing stronger since we both found out we were expecting our sons (Marie in May and I in August) earlier this year.  I am excited to continue to mentor and disciple her as we grow together in our faith and motherhood!

Here is a picture of some of the women from church.  Marie is the second to last woman from the right.